Listen deeply. Ask clarifying questions. Consider the answers. Disagree if necessary and do so kindly and gently. 

These verses and their proper application make life so much more enjoyable. They keep us rightly and properly related with others, God included. 

The man who wrote The Checklist Manifesto would do well to add these instructions to his list-making endeavors. And so would we. 

Let’s review:

1. Be quick to listen.
2. Be slow to speak.
3. Be slow to become angry.

Listen for understanding, not for argument. Listen for the heart of the other person. Listen to his or her hopes and fears, dreams and losses.

Think before you speak. Think not only about what you will say but how you will say it. Choose words easy to hear and easy to understand. Keep them focused and on topic.

Softness defuses anger. Speak softly. 

Kindness soothes disagreements. Speak kindly.

Gentleness assures. Speak gently. 

Only allow anger to drive when it is not out of control. Only unleash anger when it positively, helpfully corrects and redirects toward positive outcomes.

Ecclesiastes 5:2 provides helpful instruction: 

Proverbs 15:1 agrees with Solomon and James: 

You have your checklist. Check it twice here at the beginning of the day. Check it again when you journal your thoughts tonight. Evaluate yourself. Work on your game plan for tomorrow. Learn to enjoy the blessings of peace. Luxuriate in not needing to say, “I’m sorry for what I said and how I said it.”

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I will listen first and calmly proceed toward what comes next.

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