Job 11:6  “If only he would tell you the secrets of wisdom, for true wisdom is not a simple matter. Listen! God is doubtless punishing you far less than you deserve!” (NLT)

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With friends like these . . .

You and I have friends who can speak hard truths to us without it sounding like they want God’s wrath to fall on us at that very moment. Thank God for friends who lovingly rebuke us and compassionately help us back onto the right path!

Job’s friend Zophar had quite a mouthful to say. The last sentence above is undoubtedly true. It is also undoubtedly mistimed and misplaced. Context demands deeper listening and fewer words. Instead of speeches, Job needed gentle questions. He required friends who would listen deeply without trying to solve his problems with good answers to someone else’s reality.

Job had it bad, and it wasn’t his fault. His friends, however, believed tragedies of this sort had to be someone’s fault, and the only logical conclusion was that Job was to blame. 

Job was not the problem. God was not the Problem Maker. The temptation to fix others is always with us. The temptation for others to fix us is always in play. 

A man of some renown corrected me in a conversation yesterday. If I were to write the words here in this space, you might cringe at what he said. His tone and his intent matched in a simple, straightforward manner that was corrective and easy to swallow. 

Correction that goes down easily is almost always received with gratitude. We probably ought to keep that in mind. We probably ought to make this our routine practice.

“Wisdom is not a simple matter,” Zophar said. He is right. Wisdom is gained better through kindness than from a good beating. 

Can our friends expect more kindness and less bludgeoning from us? 

Rebuke as you want to be rebuked. Correct as you want to be corrected. Do each only when you can do so with deep friendship and loyal love. Do so only when edification is the intent and result. 

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I will correct others the way I want to be corrected.

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Our Father, some people want to hurt our feelings more than they want to help us. Please redirect us from this kind of rebuke. Empower us to speak the truth in love and to help our friends and family members back onto the right path. Make our words of hardest truth easy to swallow. Make our hearts like yours so that we will always seek the other person’s highest good. Amen.