1 Samuel 25:32-34  David said to Abigail, “Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, who has sent you today to meet me. May you be blessed for your good judgment and for keeping me from bloodshed this day and from avenging myself with my own hands. Otherwise, as surely as the Lord, the God of Israel, lives, who has kept me from harming you, if you had not come quickly to meet me, not one male belonging to Nabal would have been left alive by daybreak.” (NIV)

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It’s good to have people in our lives who tell us to stop before we do something stupid. Pity the man or woman who does not have someone like this in his or her life. 

A young leader came to me one time to try out an idea he was pondering. He was considering hiring the nephew of one of his church members as youth pastor. The church was small, and a number of the people who attended were likewise relatives of the prospective youth pastor. 

The good thing about hiring this young man as youth pastor is that he already knew people. He had a high level of trust and would most likely have an easier time than normal getting things done. 

The downside of hiring this young man is that the pastor would never be able to win in any conflict or disagreement. Who would the majority of the congregation most likely side with if there were a problem? 

I asked the pastor what would happen if, for some reason, he needed to fire the youth pastor. Who would the majority of the church members side with? I asked him if he really wanted to hire somebody he could not fire. I asked him if he wanted to hire someone who could get him fired. 

Every now and then, we need someone who can play the STOP card for us. These are people who have the kind of wisdom we need that keeps us from making unnecessary mistakes. Unforced errors lose both tennis matches and leadership dilemmas. 

Who have you empowered to carry the STOP card for you? 

One of my co-workers tells me that I tend to believe the best about people long after I should. I appreciate her wisdom. I like it when she says that we need to slow down here or stop altogether. She isn’t trying to hurt my feelings. She’s trying to save me from something much worse. 

Of course, my wife is the ultimate holder of the STOP card. I cannot tell you how many messes she has kept me out of through the years. In my mind, I can go from idea to accomplished success in milliseconds. In her mind, she sees all of the problems and challenges that I flew right past in my excitement.

Who do you serve by wielding the STOP card? Who can trust you and depend on you to tell them when they are in danger of going one step too far? This is a mercy and a kindness. 

Abigail saved David from himself. He was about to make the kind of unforced error that would have tarnished his reputation and displeased God altogether. He was about to make the kind of mistakes that Saul made. 

When we keep reading down this page, we notice that David wisely took Abigail as a wife. I wonder how many other messes she kept him out of. I wonder how much of David’s greatness was due to the wise counsel he received from this amazing woman. 

If you don’t have anyone in your life who is free to tell you No or to throw down the stop card, enlist someone trustworthy soon. Having a friend is like having an extra life. Having someone with a stop card protects you from wasting or ruining your life. 

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I will listen to those who play the STOP card in my life. 

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Our Father, we thank you for Abigail’s wisdom. Thank you for preserving this story for us. Give us the wisdom to take it to heart. Provide us with trusted people who are free to play the STOP card in our lives. Empower us to use all the brains we’ve got and all we can borrow. Amen.